Timo Cavelius: No space for homophobia in sport

German judoka Timo Cavelius is one of the first athletes who came out for being gay. In a conservative sport as judo this is a breakthrough for many male judoka. Whereas for women being gay is fully accepted since the seventies and eighties, for men one is still homophobia. Cavelius wants to change that attitude and opens up.

The 23-year old athlete was recently in action at the Grand Slam in Germany and showed his talent against Olympic Champion Khasan Khalmurzaev where he deserved more than a loss based upon the video referee. He is the number 43 of the World Ranking U81kg and does everything in a competitive category in Germany to get higher in those ranks. Still, that is all about sport, his passion.

He is able to throw big and won the Belgian Open title in Vise in 2018. He is a former German junior champion and took a silver medal at the Grand Prix in Tbilisi last year. With his team TSV Abendsberg Timo won the Bundesliga finals in 2019. This year he started his season well with a silver medal at the European Open in Sofia in 2020 and silver at the German Championships.

He was recently interviewed by German online magazine Bento and followed up on his coming out about four years ago.

Timo: “I think I went through the same emotional process as other gay boys of that age. When I realized when I was 13 that I was much more interested in other men than in women, I didn't admit it to myself for a while and thought that it would only be a phase. When I moved to the "House of Sports" in Munich at the age of 15 to concentrate on sports, I had the opportunity in the big city for the first time to meet boys. From then on it was clear to me that I was gay. I had my first relationship and started talking about it with friends and family. At that time I actually accepted it as a normal part of me. ”

Taboo on the topic

”In sports, the topic was taboo for a long time. Not only because I had been reading horror stories in the media about athletes' coming-outs. In my team we were all pubescent boys who wanted to prove their masculinity. Judo is also a very physical sport, after all you throw each other through the area and are incredibly close in ground combat. I was afraid that the others would no longer take me seriously. ”

”At some point, there were rumors from my teammates that I could be gay. I have never dealt with girls and when a boy has stayed with me the others have sometimes noticed. I remember this time as extremely hard, because I not only had the pressure to graduate from high school and achieve my best in sport, but also this secret that I carried around with me. I noticed how my body became stiffer during training and my performance stagnated because I was tense all day.

My "public" coming-out with my teammates was more or less a short-circuit reaction: I simply made a Facebook post in which I cleaned up the rumors. "Yes, I'm gay, but that doesn't change the person I am."

Totally cool

”Of course I was scared of how my teammates would react. But apart from the classic "How's that going with you?" Questions, they were all totally cool with it. ”

”I still remember that I always took a shower alone for the first few days after my coming out. Somehow I thought it would be uncomfortable for the other guys on my team. But they said on their own initiative that it makes no difference to them whether I'm gay or not. In the end, sexuality in sports simply has no place. ”

”When fighting abroad, my sexuality doesn't matter to me, it's about sport. I conform to the rules of the country. I wouldn't turn on a guy on the street in Russia or hang my sexuality on the big bell in Abu Dhabi. But I don't see it as my job to spread a certain message internationally. I wear the federal eagle on my suit and represent Germany in sport. My goal is to win the competitions, my opponents will then notice that I am "completely normal".

Bento: Your sexual orientation doesn't seem to be a big issue for you anymore - where does this self-confidence come from?

“Moving out at the age of 15, shining at tournaments when I was young and also fighting my own personal battles with myself made me stronger. I am also a member of the Bavarian Police’s top sports promotion. When I am not fighting or training, I am on duty in uniform and I am responsible. The fact that I have to prove myself again and again made my coming-out easier: If someone says something stupid to me today, I have no problem standing up for myself. ”

”I don't want to deny other gay boys their problems, but I still believe that many people are afraid of coming out themselves. The moment I took my own destiny, nothing could happen to me. My creed is very clear: there is no longer any room for homophobia today, not even in professional sports.”

Homophobia encompasses a range of negative attitudes and feelings toward homosexuality or people who are identified or perceived as being lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender (LGBT). It has been defined as contempt, prejudice, aversion, hatred or antipathy, may be based on irrational fear and ignorance, and is often related to religious beliefs.